I enjoyed a company of my friends. But the term 'friend' itself has changed a lot. Err what I mean, I befriending a friend of friend. Yeah, my friend's friends are now my friends too. We met occasionally. Most of the time... during gathering.
And I have to admit that as time goes by (read : me getting older), I realised that I only love a company of my own closest friends. The people that I share my thought, the one that I have a love-hate relationship, the one that will be by my side through my hardest time. The one that I called REAL FRIEND.
*sigh*
I hardly feel lonely. Oh...nope, I'm not in denial. I have never pretend to be very busy to avoid the feeling. Thanks to my hectic life I guess. But today...only today... I saw (and feel) the other side of my life. The one that people called EMPTINESS. LONELINESS.
Perhaps.
What did I do to feel that way?
Hmmm...I went to my Yearly Raya gathering only to realised that I've been surrounded with the people I barely know. They bring along their spouse and kids. And me? I sat at one corner of the crowd, not knowing what to do. All I know...I just wanted to go home.
I don't think of going the raya celebration again for next year.
Or the year after. Or the next.
Never.
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